2020 has been a whirlwind of emotions. A lot has happened this year. Some of us may have lost our job, some of us may be in debt, some of us may have ended a long term relationship and some of us may have lost loved ones. I know this year may have given you that confidence knock that you didn’t need but every negative can be made into a positive, right?

There is obviously a lot of HURT in these situations, where perhaps past experiences which we haven’t had to face in our extremely busy lives, have now come to the surface, but here’s the thing… You don’t have to SUFFER but you DO have to HEAL.

To be honest, as much as people have hated this forced break, I think a lot of people needed it. It has been a HUGE part of people’s growth, mine especially, as much as I hated every second of it lol. I know pretty much all of us right now or at some point this year have experienced some kind of knock back.

Your self confidence can unfortunately get hit hard so fast. But the thing to remember is to never let somebody ELSE affect your confidence. Whatever the problem is, it’s not as important as how it affected you, or rather, how YOU have allowed it to affect you. Life will bring you different knock downs but it’s up to you, how, when and whether you decide to bounce back (yes it’s a choice).

Nobody is born with high or low self-confidence. For most people, confidence is something that comes and goes. When you feel confident you focus on your successes and achievements, meaning you feel great and confident. When you may have had a confidence knock, you focus on your failures, what didn’t go right, what else could go wrong in future…

To establish true self-confidence we must let go of all the negatives in our lives, including people who aren’t good for us, accepting past experiences, healing from old trauma and working on US.

I know.. It’s easier said than done but please…

1. Stop comparing yourself to others! When something goes wrong in your life you find yourself asking ‘Why me?!’. But when something goes amazing in your life do you find yourself asking the same thing? Probably not… but it’s just human nature – we LOVE to moan and complain when something is not going well in our lives instead of thinking what’s NEXT and maybe everything does happen for a reason… whatever that may be – work it out then work on it! But everyone is in the same boat at this point. You’ve got to stop looking at people that look happy and comfortable. Especially on social media – social media can be VERY deceiving. For example, you may have put on a few pounds over lockdown but more than half of the world have!! But it’s what you are going to do next about it. Are we blaming Boris and the rest of the world or are we taking responsibility ourselves to make that change we need? We all know our right angles when we take our instagram photos girl, so now switch up the right angles in your way of thinking.

2. Look on the brighter side of things! It’s completely natural for us to be sad or gutted about things at times, but you need to limit yourself to how long you should feel this way for your own mental sanity and health or at least try. We’ve got to pick ourselves up on darker days and look forward with logic instead of emotion sometimes. Yes, healing is important, but not until it becomes counter productive – that’s when we switch it up by force. I know losing a job right now is terrifying, you may be in debt, but do not treat it like it’s the end of the world, for all you know losing that job could be a blessing in disguise, on to better things just around the corner! …Did lockdown secretly force you to be better with your money long term? Yep, same – look at the positives.

3. Accept that “perfection” doesn’t exist! I’m telling you now that the people you think that are SO perfect, they might look like they’ve got it all figured out, but the reality is often very different. When we stop exposing ourselves to so much social media content, we are so much happier. Be mindful of the scroll… You have to ignore all the brainwashing posts, that these ‘celebs’ post and really remember life in-front of the lens is NOT real life for ANYONE. If you have to delete or unfollow certain people, then do it! Trust me it helps!

4. Take yourself away from any negative vibes (or people)! Seriously, anyone that is around you that sends anything negative vibes towards you, GET RID! In order to gain that happiness and confidence in yourself, you need to be surrounded by ONLY positive vibes and people that get you and make you happy! We have to be savagely selfish sometimes in order to help number 1 – ourselves.

To grow as an individual, please remember everything above. You’ve got to surround yourself with the right people, you’ve got to look beyond ‘right now’, and certainly NOT the past. Always remember that every single person has a knock at some point – life is a challenge and a beautiful one if we handle it our best. It is human nature and completely normal to have these moments, but the successful people are the most mindful about where their thoughts drift off too, and fixing that can change your entire day to day life.

Change your mindset by replacing every negative thoughts with positive ones, along with adding any lessons you’ve learnt on the way to your bank of knowledge nobody else can take away from you – that’s a beautiful thing. Learning to focus on yourself is key to rebuilding that self confidence, so grab this with both hands, I believe in you.